Late night

My eager insides churn. I'm fucking restless. Its been a long since my shadows followed me, I am half of the whole I once was. Another cigarette won't fill the void but ill die trying. Late nights, shitty nightmares even shittier dreams of lost but not forgotten joys. I'm forever pacing, back and forth, back and forth, why? Just to waste time, maybe take an ailing mind off the ailment? To no avail, because to love is to feel pain, and all i do know is I'm going to keep kicking through this pain until it subsides and when I've got the upper hand ill keep swinging till depression begs for my mercy.